If you’re ready to embrace your wild side in bed, there’s one sex position you need to add to your repertoire: reverse cowgirl. Unlike regular cowgirl, reverse cowgirl involves facing away from your partner instead of toward them—and apart from being a simple, yet effective way to shake up your sex life, it feels pretty incredible, too.
As hot as the position is in theory, though, it may feel vulnerable to try if you’re unfamiliar with it. “Typically, the [person on top] is facing away from [their] partner—this can make it more or less psychologically comfortable for couples depending upon their relationship,” says Susan Kellogg-Spadt, PhD, director of Female Sexual Medicine at the Center for Pelvic Medicine in Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvania and ambassador for women’s healthcare company Bonafide.
That said, if you tend to get in your head a bit during sex, turning away from your partner and focusing on the movements and pleasure may actually help. “[Reverse cowgirl] can be less intimate or intimidating because of the added distance between partners,” Kellogg-Spadt explains. The position can even serve as a quick detour before you turn around to face each other again. (Or, if you’re feeling extra spicy, you can use it as the perfect excuse to easily slide into 69’ing. Yee-haw!)
Meet the Experts:
Susan Kellogg-Spadt, PhD is the director of Female Sexual Medicine at the Center for Pelvic Medicine in Bryn Mawr, Pennsylvania and ambassador for women’s healthcare company Bonafide.
Aliyah Moore, PhD is a certified sex therapist and resident sex expert at SexualAlpha.
Nan Wise, PhD is a licensed psychotherapist, certified sex therapist, and author of Why Good Sex Matters.
Sara Sloan, LMFT, CST is an AASECT-certified sex therapist and owner of Austin Concierge Therapy.
Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, PhD is a tenured professor of sexual communication at California State University in Fullerton and a sex and relationship coach at Luvbites.
Whether reverse cowgirl is the main event or just a quick stop on your sexploration, this position allows you and your partner to take the reins. Here’s how reverse cowgirl works, why it’s beneficial, and how to make it more comfortable for you, according to sex therapists.
How does reverse cowgirl position work?
If you know how to do regular cowgirl position (face your partner and straddle them with a knee on either side of their hips), then you know how to do reverse cowgirl.
All you have to do, in the words of Missy Elliot, is flip it and reverse it: Sit on top of your partner, facing their feet, then have your partner bend their legs or keep ‘em straight. Hold on tight to their knees or thighs and start moving up and down or grinding to find what feels good.
What’s so great about reverse cowgirl?
The reverse cowgirl position is a classic for a reason—actually, a few reasons. Here are some benefits that make it worth trying:
1. It’s a power position.
Whether you crave being on top or prefer to lay back and enjoy the show, reverse cowgirl is an ideal position for power play in bed. “Reverse cowgirl offers an opportunity to explore power dynamics,” says Aliyah Moore, PhD, a certified sex therapist and resident sex expert at SexualAlpha. “The partner on top can take on a dominant role, while the partner laying down can enjoy the sensations and surrender control. This can add an element of excitement and playfulness to the experience.”
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If you and your partner typically opt for the same positions over and over, reverse cowgirl can also help you switch things up, says Nan Wise, PhD, a licensed psychotherapist, certified sex therapist, and author of Why Good Sex Matters. “Playing with these different aspects of power play can be a way to help us get unstuck from our usual roles in bed,” she says.
2. You both have control over the pace and intensity.
Reverse cowgirl also lets you and your partner control the tempo and depth of penetration. “You have a lot of leverage for moving and controlling the angle and movement of your pelvis,” Wise explains. As for your partner, they can totally lay back and receive—or if they want to get in on the action, they can bend their knees and thrust.
3. There’s major visual appeal.
Reverse cowgirl also offers a super sexy view that is bound to turn you and your partner on. “One of the reasons reverse cowgirl is popular is because it provides an enticing visual experience,” Moore says. “[One partner] gets a great view of their partner’s backside, which can be incredibly arousing and add an extra layer of excitement to the encounter.” Bonus points if you have a mirror nearby and can watch yourself for a major confidence boost!
4. It’s optimal for penetration.
For some folks, reverse cowgirl can help deepen penetration, making sex even more pleasurable. “The angle of penetration in reverse cowgirl can provide direct stimulation, leading to heightened pleasure and intense orgasms for individuals with vaginas,” Moore explains. Whether you’re enjoying P-in-V sex or using a toy or strap-on, there are many ways to explore deep penetration in reverse cowgirl and find what feels the best.
5. It can also help with clitoral stimulation.
Whether you enjoy touching your clit during sex, having your partner tease you, or a mix of both, riding them in reverse may help enhance clitoral stimulation. “Reverse cowgirl provides direct access for easy clitoral stimulation either with a finger or a toy,” says Sara Sloan, LMFT, CST, an AASECT-certified sex therapist and owner of Austin Concierge Therapy.
You may even find that it helps you both get more comfortable with masturbation during sex. “Some [people] can be shy touching themselves in front of their partner; others may feel ashamed to let their partner see [them] climax,” Sloan adds. “By facing away from [your partner], this allows for more emotional freedom and exploration.”
6. It may help reduce physical strain.
Sex positions feel different for everyone, of course—but for some couples, reverse cowgirl may help reduce discomfort during sex. “For individuals who experience discomfort or strain in face-to-face positions, reverse cowgirl can provide relief by allowing the partner laying down to relax and alleviate pressure on their lower back,” Moore explains.
But if reverse cowgirl still sounds physically intimidating, don’t worry—there are many ways to make the position more comfortable and accessible.
How do I make reverse cowgirl work for me?
As with any position, it’s important to find what feels right for you and your partner. Also, reverse cowgirl may feel amazing one day, but not another—and that’s totally okay! That said, here are some expert-approved tips for making the position more comfortable, accessible, and most importantly, fun.
1. Apply lube.
Before straddling your partner, you may want to grab some lube and make sure your body is ready for the ride. “Incorporating a water-based lubricant can reduce friction and enhance the overall experience,” Moore says. “It can make penetration smoother and more comfortable for both partners, ensuring a pleasurable and enjoyable encounter.”
Using lube during reverse cowgirl can also help provide relief from vaginal dryness, says Kellogg-Spadt. “This is especially important for women experiencing perimenopause or menopause, whose fluctuation in hormones can affect natural lubrication levels,” she explains.
2. Use pillows for extra cushioning.
To make the position more comfortable, make use of those throw pillows on your bed and get ready to feel a difference.
“Placing pillows or cushions under the partner lying down can provide added support and comfort during the position,” Moore explains. “This can help alleviate any strain on the lower back and allow for a more relaxed and enjoyable experience.” If you’re on top, you can also add pillows under your knees for additional support.
3. Hold on to the headboard.
Let’s be honest: Riding your partner in reverse can be a workout, and having something stable to hold onto makes it easier. “If you’re on a bed, have your partner switch their head to the bottom of the bed and the feet on top of the bed so that you can ride them, and use your hands to hold on to the bedpost,” says Tara Suwinyattichaiporn, PhD, a tenured professor of sexual communication at California State University Fullerton and a sex and relationship coach at Luvbites.
4. Add a sex toy.
To spice up reverse cowgirl even more, try adding a vibrator or sex toy for extra stimulation. “You can use a vibrator or your hand to play with your clitoris at the same time,” says Suwinyattichaiporn.
If you enjoy anal play, you may want to incorporate anal sex toys into your session and have your partner tease you while you ride. And if you’re into kinky sex, reverse cowgirl might even provide the perfect excuse for handcuffs and other sexy toys of your choice.
Psst… here are a few toys you might want to try:
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5. Try different angles and positions.
When exploring reverse cowgirl for the first time, Moore recommends trying different versions before settling on an exact position that feels good. You can lead forward, backward, or even grind side to side to see what gets you off the most. “Explore different angles and variations of reverse cowgirl to find what works best for you and your partner,” Moore suggests. “Small adjustments in positioning can make a big difference in terms of pleasure and comfort.”
Experimenting with different variations is especially important if you deal with any sort of genital discomfort in cowgirl-esque positions, according to Kellogg-Spadt. “[Partners on top] do not always enjoy themselves because of a hit in the cervix… but they can learn to enjoy it by incorporating a forward lean [and not sitting up straight],” she says.
6. Communicate openly with your partner.
In addition to the fun pillows, sex toys, and thrill of testing different positions with your partner, healthy communication and consent should be at the forefront. “As with any sexual activity, open and honest communication is key,” Moore says. “Discussing preferences, desires, and boundaries with your partner can help create a safe and pleasurable experience for both individuals.”
If there’s an angle, technique, or feeling you love, let your partner know—and be sure to listen to their needs and desires, too. Sex is always hotter when you’re both on the same page. Now, go ahead and enjoy the ride!
Caroline Shannon-Karasik is a writer and mental health advocate based in Pittsburgh, PA. In addition to Women’s Health, her work has appeared in several print and online publications, including The Cut, Tonic, Narratively, Good Housekeeping, Redbook, and DAME. She is currently writing a collection of essays.
Emily Shiffer is a former digital web producer for Men’s Health and Prevention, and is currently a freelancer writer specializing in health, weight loss, and fitness. She is currently based in Pennsylvania and loves all things antiques, cilantro, and American history.
Freelance Writer
Tianna Soto is a writer, editor, and professional speaker based in New York City. Her writing on relationships, sex, and wellness has been featured in Cosmopolitan, Elite Daily, MindBodyGreen, and more. When she’s not writing, you can find her traveling, singing, and speaking with audiences about mental health.
